Sunday, December 22, 2013

No Respect

I'm a stay at home mom and that's a choice I made. I feel I'm doing the right thing by staying home with my daughter. Not every day is easy or fun. It's actually a lot of hard work, much harder than I thought it would be. I've thought about going back to work on the bad days. You always think the grass is greener on the other side until you get there.

What bothers me though is the way I'm treated especially by people who work. Just because I'm home doesn't mean I watch TV all day. I do have a schedule. It may be more flexible than yours but I have one. I do have things to do like child care, cleaning and cooking. Things you pay other people to do, I do all day long, every day. I don't get weekends, holidays or vacations. If anything, I work harder on those days. I remember birthdays because I care not because I have time to remember. I don't sit around and look at a calendar all day. I have things to do too, you know? I'm tired of hearing how busy working people are. I'm busy too. It's the same but different. Respect that.

Another thing that bothers me is that no one asks me how I'm doing or how my day went. I know my day is boring to you - dishes, laundry, diapers. Sometimes I'm bored too. And I know you do the same thing but it would be nice if someone asked or took an interest in me. Even my husband isn't interested in me anymore. I guess when you have a baby you're not fun or interesting.

I love being with my daughter and watching her grow but I hate the way the outside world treats me. I tell people I'm a stay at home mom and the conversation ends. I hate the fact that people don't respect me because I don't get dressed up, sit in traffic, go to an office and earn a paycheck. Being a mom is a part of my life not my whole life. I deserve respect too. Next time you meet a stay at home mom, ask her about her day and ask her if she needs help or a break or if she wants to do something fun because I can guarantee the answer will be yes.

Friday, December 6, 2013

Baby Jail

I feel like I had a baby and lost my life. I am now a stay at home mom, morning to night, seven days a week. I can no longer have fun or do anything social without lots of planning, a diaper bag and a stroller. Going from the house to the car alone takes about a half hour plus diaper changes and snacks. Everything must be planned and scheduled either around meal time or nap time. This is my life. I am a mom. Forget my husband and goodbye alone time. I am a mom. I love my daughter but she is a lot of work, time and patience. I can't even imagine having another child by choice. Of course, it doesn't help that we have no family nearby and my husband would rather be at a bar or drinking a twelve pack at home then socialize with us. I am desperately looking for other moms or activities to break me out of baby jail. Living in a small town doesn't help. It only makes me feel more isolated and alone. My husband's drinking doesn't help. No one does. I'm on my own. I'm not a single mom but a lonely one. No friends, no family, and an alcoholic husband. My daughter and I are  trapped in a small house and a small town. How do I break out of baby jail and get a life? I love my daughter and I want to be with her but we need to get out and get away from here. We need to be with people who care and surround us with love and happiness. We deserve better and we deserve to be happy. We deserve to be free.